Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
