how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
