Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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