a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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