how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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