yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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