Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
