how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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