I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
