And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
