I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
