I think I am morally bankrupt
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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