Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
