I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
