I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
someone owes me an orgasm
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
