the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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