Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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