We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
