was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
