hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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