I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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