I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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