I think i sorta joined a cult last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
