don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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