I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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