hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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