My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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