Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
