Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
