my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
