A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
