I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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