Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
