And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
