i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
