Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
