It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
