Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
