Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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