Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
