I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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