Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
