But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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