this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
