Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
