Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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