once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
