I'm gonna have a badass scar
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
did you just send me my own nude
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
