Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
