everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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