Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
